My “Wonderful” Contrarian….Good Night! Sweet Prince!….
Yesterday a wonderful human being, name Tony D’Ambra, from over there at Filmsnoir.net…decided to call it quits…and I will let him tell you, in his own words why he decided to “hang up” his “blogging gloves….”
….”I had figured on going out quietly! Thanks again to all of you.
As my dear friend Sam Juliano has intimated, I need to spend more time with my family.
Blogging was taking over my life. Not just the need to research and write posts, but the commenting on the other sites. I was neglecting my family and became a slave to my PC. It was also becoming an unhealthy ego thing, where blogging became an addiction for self-validation. Truth be told, I was confronting writer’s block more and more, and as I read more about film noir and film genrerally I realised what a hack I really was. I am my own worst critic, and I was becoming more and more dissatisfied with what I did manage to write. So I decided to go ‘cold turkey’ and make a clean break – this is not to say I will not be tempted to go back, but I know I have the resolve to stick to my decision.”
Comment by Tony D’Ambra — April 25, 2009 @ 7:29 am
Tony said,”Truth be told, I was confronting writer’s block more and more, and as I read more about film I realised what a hack I really am. I am my own worst critic, and I was becoming more and more dissatisfied with what I did manage to write….”
[Editor's Note] Personally, I know that he isn’t a “hack writer,” but an excellant writer, who(m) reviews were short and concise and to the point!… (When people write for me I ask them to be short, concise and to the point!… On the other hand, Tony, may have “suffered” with “writer block” even though I “never” detected it in your writing(s).
And here is more from Dee Dee:
Quite a character he (Tony D’Ambra), is…Contrary to the “hilt”…I think this is what I admire about him the most…I know being contrary or going against the grain want bring you many friends, but like a man name J.B., on my friend Leah’s blog said, “Contrary is good…it show that we are still alive and kicking!” ….
….and I agree and it calls for lively debate and the person that is usually being contrary isn’t being difficult, but is usually challenging you, in order for you, to think, question, ponder, ruminate and most definitely, contemplate.
Tony D’Ambra, a true friend, to me when I first discovered this thing called film noir, nearly 2 and half years ago.He has always been kind, respectful and funny, especially when it comes to our interaction together.
His wonderful wit, sense of humour, bravery and the fact, that he is “fearless“…I think he called it like it is and said, it like it was….I truly, don’t feel it’s “Good-by,” but more like
“Good-Night!”….For now…Sweet Prince!
Ah Dee Dee………you really know how to make a grown man cry. The news has hit me very very hard, and I’ll admit I’ve been in a daze now since yesterday morning.
This is an internet tragedy for all of us, but I know how much you have revered Tony and FilmsNoir.net. Your site has advanced and promoted him for many months, as a fello “Film Noir” proponent, and you have been his most regular and ever-enthusiastic commenter.
In this sense Dee Dee, I mourn this life-changing decision, but I know deep down in my heart that this was necessary for Tony’s well-being and for the continuity of his family life.
Down the line, Tony may well decide to resurface, and he knows that Wonders in the Dark will publish anything from him at any time. But I am loathe to tempt him at this point, as I know with him blogging is basically all or nothing. I know this is assuredly a very difficult decision for him.
I will look on Noirish City to carry the torch, Dee Dee, and you again have moved me deeply with your eloquent testimonial to this irreplacable internet titan.
You have been an inspiration to many with your infectious passion and your command of the language. You are the film noir guy! You can’t be replaced. I wish you the best.
This is a lovely tribute and I wish Mr. D’Ambra all the happiness in the world in all his future endeavors. Perhaps we will see some of his writings here at Wonders in the Dark and/or his always enlightening commentary.
Best Wishes to Tony. It’s always hard to say good-bye, thinking deep down them it could be permanent. But it is understood that Tony must do what is best for himself and his family. Few would think otherwise.
I just spent some time looking over the past archives at FilmsNoir.net, and it is really a treasure trove of love, by a man who learned to master both the technical side of managing a website and of writing. You can see the vast improvement from the site’s beginnings…….in May of 2007 until now, practically two years later, not that the launching was anything less than impressive.
For some people the notion of running a blogsite for two years may not seem like a daunting affair, but in truth it’s an all-consuming venture that consitutes having a second job. And Tony was rarely content to let a post sit for a week (had he been of that disposition, I believe Films Noir would have continued) and he added about every other day. Sometimes more often than that!
I came across dazzling posters layouts, scholarly excerpts from essential volumes, and all sorts of noir-related items and features.
Go over to FilmsNoir and check out those early months.
All I can say is thanks to the loveliest dame in town. And to the nicest guy in the blogosphere.
I owe the readers of WitD a debt of thanks also for the welcome I received here.
Thanks to Sam and Allan who have enriched my appreciation of movies and been true friends.
A special thanks to Lucille Juliano, who has to live with the eternal optimist!
I have always enjoyed Mr. D’Ambra’s comments at WitD. What most struck me about his valedictory, thought, was how much his thoughts echoed some of my own recent thoughts. I fully understand the reasons for his decision. It is so easy to get wrapped up in a passion and see it eating more and more into your life and to question if persistence is not in the end too much of an ego thing. And as time goes on, it seems to get harder to find things to say that haven’t already been said by somebody else. Sometimes I think it’s enough just to sit back and observe what others are doing without becoming so actively involved. I’m not ready to retire yet, but I have recently vowed to concentrate on my own writing, enjoy the writing of others without becoming so involved in it, and not to expect anything more of them than the same. I know that discourse about film is one of the reasons most often cited for blogging, but it can begin to feel more like an obligation than a pleasure.
Thanks RD. You have elegantly expressed what I was trying to convey.
While I have stopped blogging, I will offer the occasional comment here at WitD, and I have resolved to keep my cool from now on
Keep the emails coming, Tony, but more importantly rest up.
And yes, Lucille deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for suffering beyond the call of duty.
Tony, you will be missed. I know something of that contrarian nature from the very first interaction we had, but I’ve never had anything but respect for your talent and knowledge, which are apparent in every piece you write. I suspect the siren call of the blogosphere is familiar to each of us to various levels of personal detriment even while we enjoy the camaraderie, connectivity and the thrill of making new discoveries about our passions with these engaging new and old friends online.
Your humility about how much you do not yet know speaks well of you, as does your acknowledgement of how easily it is to let our egos become disproportionately inflated and addicted to validation (from ourselves or others). The D’Ambra family is lucky to have you back and fully engaged with their lives, but it is most definitely our loss, and a keen one. Peace be with you, and know you have friends and supporters here whether you are participating here or not.
Tony, I enjoyed your comments and views and you made me think wiser. Hope you still contribute your lists.
R.D. Finch also echoes my own sentiments, although I have not managed a website for TWO YEARS as Tony has. Wonders in the Dark was launched in late September of last year, meaning it is just about 7 months old. Tony did this for 24 months!!! But yes, R.D., all you say there about ‘blogiing obligations’ and consternation about saying anything stale, well, that’s irrefutable. Still, I can say I am one who has greatly enjoyed and been enriched by your own site.
Jenny: What an extraordinary and lovely testimonial to Tony, which I am certain he will greatly appreciate when he sees it. You touched upon so many truisms there, both in regard to Tony and to blogging in general.
Bobby J: I know you have come to the table here with the utmost sincerity and appreciation for Tony’s postings. Thanks for joining the chorus of applause for all he has done.
Thank you kindly Jenny and Bobby J. You are both so gracious and I so undeserving. I have given each of you a hard time on occasion, for which I am deeply sorry.
Tony, you have never realized just how many people you have affected with your writing, and always thought your occasional gruff manner was a turn-off, when in fact it was a refreshing look at the other side of the coin.
I have been receiving e mails for two days now from people who are very sorry to see your site go.
You have achieved your goal and then some, my friend.
I have also read a number of Mr. d’Ambra’s posts here and have been wholly impressed. I remember his review of the sci-fi movie “Gattaca” and that beautiful poem he wrote about that Japanese Ozu movie. I haven’t visited his now-suspended site until now, but I see the writing is also most distinguished.
Best Wishes to you Sir, and hope to still see you around.
I think Mr. D’Ambra kept things honest, by never allowing blind praise to replace the truth in any appraisal. I saw a few serious scuffles at this site, when he triple-teamed and beyond, but I think you must admire him for holding to his guns, and not surrendering to the kind of gooey validation that often side-steps the more important facet of the discussions.
It’s really a shame that the film noir site has ceased to exsist, as there was so much ‘blood, sweat and tears’ expended in its advancement. But two years is a long time, and there are other things in life too.
Best Wishes to Mr. d’Ambra, and hope he does resurface at some point.
Thank you so much Robert, Bill H, and Eric.
Bill, you have identified one of the big issues for me: walking away from something in which I invested so much time and effort…but I had to let go at some point.
Hey Eric!!! Thanks for stopping by, and I am eternally grateful for that promise to submit a 60′s list. I’m sure Tony will appreciate those Best Wishes.
Robert: You have identified there two of Tony’s very best contributions here. I would add his review of a John Ford movie, THE FUGITIVE, as well as two other poems based on Wong Kar Wei movies, a review of a French movie, WELCOME TO THE STICKS , and two “thoughts” pieces on LES ENFANTS DU PARIDIS and IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH to the line-up of stellar work here. They can all be accessed here.
Bill: You speak here with much common sense and full grasp of the situation.
Hi! Sam Juliano,
Let me chime in with Tony’s review of Beyond Doubt.
Deedee
….Btw, Did Tony ever review George Clooney “vehicle” Micheal Clayton? here at WitD?
and another contribution Tony’s review of Mr.Deed Meet Slumdog: Who Want to be Millionaire? I can’t think of anymore reviews that Tony covered….other than his review that you reposted….Night in the City.
Deedee
Yes, BEYOND DOUBT indeed Dee Dee!!! That piece, like just about all of Tony’s posts here, received many comments.
He did do a piece on MICHAEL CLAYTON here. It’s in the archives.
Yes, that’s right, the SLUMDOG too. (and the re-posting you mention)
I wish Mr. d’Ambraa most relaxing break from the demands of blogging. He has served himself well here.
……..I wish you the best. I know you gave it your all…………….
Thanks Maria and Frank.
Hi! Sam Juliano, Allan and WitD readers,
Oops!….I forgot to mention that Tony, created or suggested the game that seems to be very popular (and totally, difficult…at least, for me!)called…. Guess the Pic too!
Btw, Allan, bring back the IM… game…Oops!…I meant to say A Bit of Weekly Fun game.
Deedee
Indeed Dee Dee. This game was Tony’s creation, and it has become one of the site’s most popular features.