After all the week’s events, something light-hearted, totally amateurish and written with the wit of a flea…but it may make you smile…
You just need to know the lyrics of that immortal anthem from Sondheim’s A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.
| SYCOPHANTS TONIGHT |
| ALLAN |
| Something pernicious |
| Something perfidious |
| Something quite poisonous |
| Misanthropy tonight |
| Something that’s caustic |
| Something quite toxic |
| Something to piss you off |
| Misanthropy tonight |
| I don’t bow down, I don’t genuflect |
| I just don’t care who I neglect |
| More ankle biting |
| Constant in-fighting |
| Nothing to make you feel at home |
| Sycophants tomorrow |
| Misanthropy tonight |
| enter SAM |
| Something obeisant |
| Something obedient |
| I love to grovel down |
| I’ll suck up tonight |
| Something obsequious |
| ALLAN butting in |
| It makes me nauseous |
| BOTH |
| Something for everyone |
| A free for all tonight |
| ALLAN goes away banging his head on a piece of wood like the monks in HOLY GRAIL |
| Just write a line, I’ll lay it on thick |
| Unlike that Allan – God what a prick! |
| I’d burn down a convent |
| Just for a comment |
| Anything to make people come back |
| Honesty tomorrow |
| Kiss ass tonight! |
| SAM continued |
| Something erratic, |
| Something dramatic, |
| Something for everyone: |
| Where’s DeeDee tonight? |
| ALLAN |
 Speak of the devil! |
| DENNIS |
| I like a war zone |
| SAM |
| Not so intense |
| ALLAN (whispering) |
| He much prefers to sit on his fence |
| SAM |
| Countdown surprises! |
| ALLAN |
| That Bob just despises |
| BOTH |
| Several arguments a week! |
| SAM |
| Brevity and length |
| ALLAN |
| Christ, give me strength! |
| JAMIE |
| De Palma and Lucas |
| ALLAN |
| And the Sound of fucking Mucus! |
| SAM |
| The best men |
| ALLAN |
| And yes men |
| SAM |
| Hilarity |
| ALLAN |
| Disparity |
| SAM (returning to original) |
| Mistakes |
| ALLAN (continuing as original) |
| Fakes |
| SAM |
| Rhymes! |
| ALLAN (shrugging) |
| Can’t argue there! |
| SAM |
| Jamie |
| DeeDee |
| Dennis |
| Bobby |
| ALLAN |
| All Sammy loves is to sit here and blog |
| If only someone would kill Goober the dog |
| Essays, opinions |
| No stupid minions |
| Don’t get upset with all our shiteaside “Oh sod it!” |
| Misanthropes tomorrow |
| Sycophants |
| Sycophants |
| Sycophants |
| Sycophants |
| Sycophants TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! |
Welcome to Wonders in the Dark – God knows how we’ve lasted nearly a year!
Hysterical!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know the song but I still chuckled.
You need to catch the intro to the film from 1966 to see the song not the Youtube piece from Deedee, thought hat was most welcome.
I did too… good stuff.
AND i get to say “DePalma and Lucas”, can I make a nasty face when I say Lucas because I despise him?
Hi! Allan, Sam, and WitD readers,
All I can say is very…“funny” Allan!
I went over to youtube entered the words Comedy Tonight
and this is one came up…
…I dedicate it to you Allan, by the way, …
What is up with “smiley?”…I never use smilies.
DeeDee
Oop!
…I meant to say…What is up with the “smilies?”…
)
…Yes, Allan, you did discover my “secret”…I’am a smiley addict!…and I’am on my way to detox…as I type these words.
Your truly,
DeeDee (The Smiley Addict…Watch out!…she is addicted to…
The nicest proponent of the smiley literature.
Hmm… The lyrics don’t really fit. The tempo and the syllables, I mean. Also, considering the visciousness that’s been going about the boards lately, “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” is a pretty tame choice for a Sondheim parody. Personall, I’d have gone with “Sweeney Todd”, myself. After all, it’s man devouring man, my dear, and who are we to deny it in here?
They’re not meant to really fit exactly, Bob – and as I said above they fit the film intro more than the clip on Youtube above and it was only a bit of amateurish fun done in an hour or so last night. The point was really that Sam’s energy and attitude perfectly fits Mostel’s personality. Note sycophancy wins out over misanthropy.
Hmmm… Sorry, I’m a stickler when it comes to parodies. The closer they fit, the harder they hit. Picking a duet might’ve pulled it off better, if you wanted parts for both you and Sam. In fact, since the subject is sycophancy, a perfect song might’ve been “Lovely”, though it doesn’t really have a lot of room for new lyrics. “Everybody Ought to Have a Maid” probably could’ve been retooled cleverly, and is written for more than one person. “Comedy Tonight” might work in its reprieve, with the different parts, but it’s still not the best fit– the most famous song from the show, sure, but still.
Anyway, you’re dealing with Sondheim, probably one of hte most challenging lyricists to parody. You have to be as precise as he was with the rhythms of words for it to work 100 percent. If one syllable is off, it all kinda falls apart, at least for me.
It was never meant as a serious parody, Bob, I know it’s rubbish and it was never meant to be anything else (see intro sentence), just a bit of fun. God, you really do earn your title Killjoy of the Year, don’t you? I’ll certainly vote for you from here on in, I thought I was a miserabilist. Do you get up in the morning and have an argument with yourself “good morning, Bob – oh piss off, Clark, what’s good about it.” I just look in the mirror and murmur “you ugly talentless bastard” but you must really go to town.
Seriously, as a purist, I’d agree with you, put purists take things too seriously in every way, and that’s not the point of the piece at all.
Speaking of parody, I do have to agree with Allan here; you kind of reach self-parody level with these comments, Bob… Maybe we can come up with a new one, “Contrarian” to the tune of “Tradition” or something (though that too lacks the proper amount of syllables; maybe we can just excise a bit of the word and call it “Contrar’n.” Adds to the curmudgeony quality, doesn’t it?).
No, not really, Man. That would just make it sound like it’s being sung by a redneck.
I hold fast to this point– with parody and satire, function must fit form, first and foremost. If you wanted to lampoon the idea of contrariness, you’d have to find something that fit the sound of that word on a superficial level, and then adapt the context to make it fit. Instead of “Tradition”, or Broadway shows altogether, the first thing that entered my head was “Conan the Contrarian”. Not quite as clever, perhaps, but it has potential, and works on the basic gut-level of homophony necessary to carry such a lightweight comedy-criticism, to begin with.
It might only get you as far as, say, a variety-show skit, but that’s all you’d need. Hell, you’d probably be lucky to squeeze a mock-version of the “What is best in life, Conan?” spiel out of it, but we’re not aiming high.
Conan the Barbarian occurred to me too, but it’s not a song, is it? If I’m wrong…does Ahnold sing it?
I don’t dispute your central points, at least when applied to ambitious attempts at satire, but really, when a “parody” is offered as a quickie post to make a few readers chuckle, and is prefaced with the statement “the wit of a flea,” extensive criticism seems rather like overkill. Best to bite your tongue. Allan’s only intention was to entertain us with an inside-joke. I understand he’s open for criticism for his countdown choices, but this is a bit over-the-top, no?
I enjoyed the parody like everyone else, but the long-standing accusation of sustained “sycophancy” on my part is a conviction I don’t really share. If my nature is to be friendly and supportive (like a number of others I know) it is astretch to assert that this is some kind of blatent insicerity. I may go over the top at times, but my manner is hardly fraudulent.
Speaking of Conan the Barbarian have you guys witnessed that video on youtube, where Conan isn’t singing but being a raver with the glowsticks? it’s pretty hilarious.
i think a search of glowstick and conan should yield great results.
Hi! Allan,
Oops!…Sorry, here it go…“methinks”…because I never watched this film before (I’am swaying back and forth)….now may I return to my “detox”
program…
Oops!…I noticed another typo
“I went over to youtube entered the words Comedy Tonight
and this is [one] came up…” I meant to say…this is what came up…hic!