by Sam Juliano
Drywater Gulch had a toad problem.
They might not be quite as scary as Frank Miller’s gang from High Noon, but three lawless brothers referred to as ‘toads’ are terrorizing Drywater Gulch with their own brand of “hootin’, hollarin’ and cussin.’ You see these varmints are out to steal your gold, kiss your cattle and insult your chili, and without any kind of a challenge, Mayor McGuffin’s town is in for some criminal leadership.
In rides the sheriff -a young boy named Ryan- crawling on the back on a tortoise and sporting a white ten-gallon hat that would earn the admiration of Gene Autry. Upon arrival the Mayor asks him “What brings you to our spicy town?” The boy tells him he is the new sheriff, to which the Mayor asks questions you’d expect an affirmative answer to – Can you handle a shooting iron, ride a horse or do any rope tricks? Receiving a negative response to all he then pokes fun at his pint-size lawman, asking him if he stays up past eight. Again rebuffed he asks the boy how he can call himself a sheriff. The boy confidently comes out with the ‘great equalizer’ telling the Mayor he “knows a really lot about dinosaurs.’ The Mayor is mighty impressed and tells the boy “Pleased to meet you Sheriff.” (more…)