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Archive for January 11th, 2015

mel confirmation 006

Really old times 153

by Sam Juliano

I am trying very hard to get things together, but the aching pain remains in force.  As I previously announced on last week’s MMD, tragedy has intruded on our lives in a very big way.  Like Pat Perry and others, I can safely say that as a result our lives can never be the same.  My 68 year-old cousin Robert (Bobby) McCartney, a man who was our “guidance counselor,” handyman and contractor, arts companion and family confidante suddenly and without any past health clues, passed away on Tuesday morning of a massive heart attack.  The fact that it could have been easily averted, makes the pain even more pronounced.  On Monday night, Bobby mentioned to his brother that he had chest pains that wouldn’t go away.  Douglas told him he needed to check into an emergency room.  Bobby refused – he was eccentric – and truth be said he had nothing but contempt for doctors.  He was a lifelong miser -hugely successfully financially, but thought he was indestructible, in view of the excellent genes in my father’s family.  Had he gone, they would have immediately figured the problem, and he would have had a stent inserted.  He could have lived another 15 years or more, when you consider everyone on that side of the family lives to their 80’s and 90’s.  His mother, my 92 year-old Aunt Joanie had to witness this horror.  My cousin, to be sure did not lead the healthiest lifestyle, as he was probably the heaviest smoker I have ever encountered.  Even when he went to movies he would leave two or three times to go out to smoke.  His diet included some vegetables, but it wasn’t overall so great.  He had his share of fast food.  He did kept weight off and was extremely active physically – a workaholic, who was obsessed with saving and cutting corners to a fault.  He spent so many hours of many days at my house -he did after all live only three blocks away- and he interacted with the kids daily.  The memories abound- I was his campaign manager when he won a seat on the Fairview Board of Education; when I lived on Anderson Avenue he was a nightly visitor in the days I was single.  I simply cannot fathom he is not in this world anymore.  I cannot believe I won’t ever seen him again pulling up to the front of my house nearly every day, and walking through the front door every Tuesday at 6:30 P.M. sharp for pasta night.  He was the first person I discussed new movies with, the first person I confided in on family issues, and work that needed to be done in the house, and in what was going on around the town.  I just cannot accept this.  I don’t know what the future portends anymore.  The vital man in our lives has suddenly been taken from us without preparations and even a final goodbye. (more…)

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