by J. D. Lafrance
Can men and women be friends without sex getting in the way? This is the question that When Harry Met Sally… (1989) asks and then wisely leaves up to the viewer to decide. Released in 1989, this romantic comedy is a classic example of the right people in the right place at the right time with Rob Reiner directing, Nora Ephron writing and Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan as the romantic leads with old standards re-interpreted by a then-up-and-coming singer Harry Connick, Jr. The results were amazing to say the least, launching the careers of the aforementioned into the stratosphere and creating a benchmark that every romantic comedy has since been judged by.
Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) meets Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) after they both graduate from university and share a car ride from Chicago to New York City. Along the way, they argue about the differences between men and women and Harry says that they can never be friends because sex always gets in the way, to which Sally disagrees. She finds him obnoxious and he thinks that she’s too uptight. Once Harry and Sally arrive in New York and go their separate ways, they figure that they will never see each other again. Over the years, Harry and Sally run into each other again during various stages in their lives and become friends. The film chronicles the development of their relationship.
The film’s dialogue has a ring of honesty to it, from Harry and Sally’s discussion about having good sex early on in the film, to their conversation about fake orgasms during the famous deli sequence. One memorable scene occurs when Harry tells Sally what all men think about after having sex: “How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?” Disgusted, she replies, “That’s what you’re thinking? Is that true?” Harry tells her, “Sure. All men think that. How long do you like to be held afterwards? All night, right? See, that’s the problem. Somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.” What they talk about and how they do it really captures the way men and women talk to and about each other. Much of the dialogue is also very funny. For example, there’s the little asides, like Sally’s anal-retentive and very particular way of ordering food at restaurants, or the Pictionary scene where Harry’s best friend Jess (Bruno Kirby) ineptly guesses Sally’s drawing as “baby fishmouth” (?!). Crystal’s reaction to Kirby’s guess is absolutely priceless.
The film finds humor in painful situations, like when Harry tells Jess that he’s breaking up with his wife because she cheated on him. Jess tells him, “Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity. It’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.” Harry replies, “Oh really? Well, that symptom is fucking my wife.” The film is also chock full of brilliant observations about relationships – easily the best of its kind outside of a Woody Allen film. This is something that is missing from so many romantic comedies now. Most contemporary ones feel the need for some kind of zany premise to justify their existence and feature crude humor instead of working at creating fully-realized characters and authentic sounding dialogue. This is one of the strengths of When Harry Met Sally… because many of the situations and dialogue were based on the real-life experiences of the creative team that made the film.
When Harry Met Sally… is so character and dialogue-driven that many forget just how beautifully shot a film it is, thanks to Barry Sonnenfeld, who got his start with the Coen brothers. The establishing shot of New York City early on shows the iconic skyline bathed in golden sunlight. There is another scene where Harry and Sally walk through Central Park and are surrounded by fallen leaves that perfectly capture the city in autumn. The sequence is saturated in warm yellow, reds and browns. These shots and the locations used in the film are captured in such loving detail by someone who is a native of the city, as Reiner was at the time.
The casting for this film is perfect. Billy Crystal’s character is definitely cast in the neurotic Woody Allen mould with his obsession with death. For example, he tells Sally early on that when he buys a book he reads the last page first so that if he dies before finishing the book he’ll know how it ended. However, Crystal is infinitely more charming than Allen and has a certain vulnerability that is attractive. Meg Ryan is adorable as Sally, bringing a perky, irrepressible charm to the role. She compliments Harry’s pessimism. Ryan also nails Sally’s need to control every aspect of her life as typified by the way she orders food at a restaurant. She is the epitome of practicality as typified by the argument she has with Harry about who Ingrid Bergman should’ve ended up with at the conclusion of Casablanca (1942).
They are ably supported by Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher as their respective best friends. Not only do they play well off Crystal and Ryan, but also each other once their characters become a couple. Fisher’s scenes with Ryan where they speak honestly about their respective relationships have an honest feel to them. When Sally tells Marie that she broke up with her boyfriend, her friend laments, “You had someone to go places with. You had a date on national holidays.” They talk about dating and Fisher demonstrates fantastic comic timing, like when she goes through her Rolodex of available men and when told that one is married, folds over the corner of the index card with his contact information and puts it back – you know, just in case.
A memorable scene with Kirby includes the blind date where Harry tries to hook Jess up with Sally but he ends up getting involved with her best friend Marie. They are at dinner and Marie ends up quoting a line out of one of Jess’ restaurant reviews and his reaction is so real and genuine. I would have loved to have seen a film from the perspective of Jess and Marie showing how their courtship and marriage played out. This was one of the late-great Kirby’s most memorable roles and watching him in this film again serves as a sad reminder just how poorer cinema is with his passing.
When Harry Met Sally… was not only a commercial success but a hit with critics. Roger Ebert called Reiner “one of Hollywood’s very best directors of comedy,” and said that it was “most conventional, in terms of structure and the way it fulfills our expectations. But what makes it special, apart from the Ephron screenplay, is the chemistry between Crystal and Ryan.” The Washington Post’s Rita Kempley praised Meg Ryan as the “summer’s Melanie Griffith – a honey-haired blonde who finally finds a showcase for her sheer exuberance. Neither naif nor vamp, she’s a woman from a pen of a woman, not some Cinderella of a Working Girl.” USA Today gave the film three out of four stars and wrote, “Crystal is funny enough to keep Ryan from all-out stealing the film. She, though, is smashing in an eye-opening performance, another tribute to Reiner’s flair with actors.” However, in her review for The New York Times, Caryn James described the film as “often funny but amazingly hollow film” that “romanticized lives of intelligent, successful, neurotic New Yorkers.” James characterized it as “the sitcom version of a Woody Allen film, full of amusing lines and scenes, all infused with an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu.”
When Harry Met Sally… doesn’t answer the question about men and women being friends because it is more concerned with the differences between the sexes. Harry and Sally spend most of the film trying to under one another and find themselves attracted to each other’s idiosyncrasies that one finds endearing only after you’ve gotten to know someone over a long period of time. This film is arguably the best ting that Crystal, Reiner, Ryan and Ephron have ever done. Crystal went on to make several decent if not exactly memorable films (except for City Slickers). Reiner has made one increasingly forgettable film after another (Rumor Has It, Alex and Emma, etc.). Ephron and Ryan teamed up again for Sleepless in Seattle (1993) which was a monster hit, and You’ve Got Mail (1998), but both films don’t quite resonate as well or as memorably as When Harry Met Sally…
J.D.
You surround this from all angles and this is very well written. I’m a big fan of the film and it’s one of those charming modern day romantic comedies that seems to capture a timelessness that is usually missing from these films. Woody Allen is the best comparison of course but this film has a personality all it’s own. One of the great romantic comedies.
Thank you for the kind words! I love this film dearly and make a point of watching it with my wife every New Year’s Eve.
One of the best of the contemporary film comedies. I concur there is chemistry between Crystal and Ryan. Works on repeat viewings too. Wonderful review.
Thanks!
Yeah, their chemistry is fantastic and big part of the film’s appeal. They play so well off each other.
I like “Sleepless in Seattle” but agree it does not resonate like this film. Nice work in connecting all the dots in establishing wide appeal.
Thank you! Ephron did a nice job with SLEEPLESS, but there is something about the collaboration with her, Rob Reiner, Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan – they all had some kind of input into the script and it really shows in the end result.
I love this film and have watched it many times over the years – you’ve done a great job here, JD. It’s a shame the orgasm scene, funny though it is, seems to be the main thing the film is known for, as there is so much more – loads of great scenes and above all the relationship between Crystal and Ryan. For anyone who likes romantic comedies where the couple really talk to each other and know one another inside out, this is one of the best!
Thank you! I agree that the orgasm scene tends to overshadow the rest of the movie when people talk about it, but there is so much going on and that’s why I love watching it again and again – noticing things going on in the background of scenes or how an actor will react to what someone else says. All these little moments…
A splendid essay. I liked it so much that, when I got to the end, I went back and read it all over again!
That’s so nice of you to say!
The film is also chock full of brilliant observations about relationships – easily the best of its kind outside of a Woody Allen film.
Very fine work here J.D. Of all the more recent romantic comedies, I’d say this one stands among the tallest. There was a fresh spontaneity to it when it was released, as you and others say there was a unique chemistry between the leads, and film exuded positive energy and charm. Seems to me this one has improved with time.
Thanks, Sam! Good call on the element of positive energy and charm. And it isn’t conveyed in a forced way, but flows in a natural way by a cast that interacts so well with each other and do such a good job bringing Ephron’s script to life.
J.D. –
“Baby fishmouth is sweeping the nation!”
Nice job. I like WHMS a lot, although I have never loved it. I’ve never warmed up to ditzy-cute Meg Ryan, preferrring her grittier, angrier work in films like PROMISED LAND and WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN. But this, admittedly has some great moments, and you’ve hit on most of the best. And I love that you called out the glorious cinematography – I’ve gone to NYC in the fall as least twice expecting to see the gloriously autumnal-colored Central Park that is shown in WHMS (as well as inWoody’s HANNAH AND HER SISTERS); I have yet to see Central Park look so lovely.
Thank you! Yes, I lived in NYC for a year and remember autumn well and Reiner and Sonnenfeld really captured the colors at that time of year so well. The city really comes alive thanks to the way it is shot, something that isn’t always paid attention to when it comes to romantic comedies.